Child Custody Strategies – Personal Stability

During a divorce, there are a great number of issues that need to be settled: dividing up accumulated belongings, assets, and memories, financial arrangements, even care and visitation of family pets has become a big concern in recent years. However, among all of these problems, one matter stands out as the ultimate point of contention – custody of the children.

When a divorcing couple cannot come to a mutually agreed-upon compromise regarding custody of the children (and let\’s face it, it is a very rare couple who can), it falls to the court system to intervene and facilitate an arrangement \”in the best interests of the child.\” When they do this, one very important detail they consider is the stability (or lack thereof) that each parent will bring to the life of the child.
 
When psychologists are called to testify in family court, they invariably assert that children need routine and stability. Therefore, nothing will concern a judge more than a parent who is constantly making changes – whether it be in his job, his housing, or his relationships. Even though these parents may feel that they have good reasons for each change, a judge will examine the overall pattern and raise concerns about consistency and dependability.
 
Think about it… ever notice how your child enjoys watching the same movie or T.V. episode over and over again? Children thrive on repetition and permanence in all aspects of their lives. A judge can be persuaded to overlook many less than ideal choices in your housing, job, or relationship if they are stable over the course of time. If, for some reason, you do need to make a change in a major area such as employment or housing, you need to do so carefully and with a well-thought-out plan.
 
If you make a number of changes to your life, the other parent will attempt to persuade the judge that, no matter how good your current situation seems, based on your history of instability, it is unlikely to last. You won\’t be able to convince the court of your good position if the other side can point out that it is likely to be short-term and undergo constant change.
 
So, in order to ensure an advantage in any custody litigation, please remember to consider stability in all aspects of your public and personal life.