Five Steps to Get Ready for Fatherhood

It’s just a few months – or less! – before the arrival of your first child and you’re beginning to wonder how you can possibly get ready for your new role as a dad. Here are some practical things you can do to get ready:

1. Engage with quality books and videos about parenting. There are dozens and dozens of good resources from well-regarded experts. One especially useful book for expecting fathers is First Time Dad: The Stuff You Really Need to Know by John Fuller. Take advantage now of the seasoned, wise advice of others. Very soon you’ll be too busy to read, listen and watch as much as you might want.
2. Spend time with experienced parents. Watch them. Watch their kids. Make mental notes. Write things down. Launch conversations from their experiences with their kids. Find a mentor couple to walk you through the coming days, someone to offer experienced perspectives to help you as a new parent.
3. Discuss with your spouse your hopes, fears, and expectations about being a new parent. Talk about your pasts. Address your expectations about how you will approach this monumental task. Make sure that, where you have differences, you’ve talked those through and come to a shared understanding of areas of common ground you can agree on.
4. Pray about your new parental responsibilities. Ask God to help you be the parent your child needs, and to supply what you lack.
5. Journal about the road ahead. Expectant mothers probably understand this step well; fathers, not so much. Journaling is something a lot of men struggle with, as such thinking can lead to . . . feelings. And many men run from emotions. But consider taking the time, even if you are very busy, to think things through to deep levels—and to record those reflections on your computer or in a journal. It can help to express your thoughts and feelings— in real time, as you encounter various situations.

In First Time Dad, John Fuller notes that even prepared, once a child arrives, you can find yourself “feeling confident and capable one day—then perplexed and overwhelmed the next.” Some days being a father will seem perfectly natural and some days you’ll be scratching your head wondering what to do next. It’s a completely normal part of becoming a father. Being aware and prepared, with expectations in check, can be a huge help.